Jessica: The Finale

To anyone who cares, I'd like to explain my previous two posts about Jessica and explain why they were so emotionally-charged.

Basically, I liked this girl and was too chicken to ask her out. I held her as the embodiment of perfection. Stupid me!

Anyway, I liked her because she seemed to stand out from the crowd and be different. The more I learned, the more I liked.

Then she invited us all to a graduation party at the end of the year. I knew I simply could not go. However, I "disguised" myself (with a cap and sunglasses) and walked by the party. As luck would have it, one of my friends (Jeff) recognized me. I acted surprised, but I was kicking myself on the inside. He told me to come to the party. Now I was trapped. I told my mom where I was going and headed out. I breathed very heavily despite walking extremely slowly. Another of my friends (Nate) drove past and talked to me. He said "Are you alright? You look out of breath." I was taken aback. I was nervous, but I didn't think I LOOKED nervous. I told him I was fine and worked up the courage to walk to the other side of the fence.

The party itself was actually fairly boring. We just talked about random stuff for an hour, played cornhole, and shot a Frisbee around. I can't really explain it because you don't know her, but I just kind of didn't like her anymore. She wasn't the person I thought she was. That's it. I went home very depressed and, thus, the emotional blog entry. I'm pretty much over it now, but I just wonder if I'll ever have a girlfriend.